We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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