Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
