She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
