New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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