she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
