your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
