I got chris browned last night
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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