i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
