i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
