I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
