yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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