we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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