I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
