Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize