I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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