Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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