It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
