I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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