i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
