I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
