it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
