Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You dont lie about slip and slides
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
