I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
