direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
