He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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