Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
