dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
