I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
