every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
