...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
