I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
