That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Randomize
