The maid of honor just puked.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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