Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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