oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
