Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
