I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize