I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
