So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
