I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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