you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
