I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
