It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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