It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
