im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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