walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
