If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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