goodnight i made you a song goodbye
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
