dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
