oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Life is so much better after having sex.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
