definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
