Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
