and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
What did we do last night that was yellow?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
