nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize