What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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