Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
