I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
