This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
