I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
either way he was missing a nipple.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
