Where is the hickey?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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