so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
