His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
